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Sunday, March 4, 2012

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Source: http://1aboutpsychology.com/2012/psychology/the-host-audiobook-download/

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Gay Family Values: Foster Diaries: Risking Your Heart

One thing that we as human beings do not like to do with our hearts is risk them. Risk means uncertainty and with uncertainty comes the possibility of loss and pain. But however much we try too limit the risks we have to take, it has been a life lesson for me to learn to hold your heart out there anyway..even ?if you are hurt.And in the event that you are, you must learn not to let it keep you from loving again. This is the heavy lifting of the heart and way we build its capacity to love. Yes, I know...it sounds like the inside of a Hallmark greating card but it is also a fact of life as I have lived it.

One of the ways this lesson was brought home to me was through adoption and foster care.?Many of our readers may have been keeping abreast of my previous writings about "Baby Boy". The two year old who has stolen our hearts and who already feels like a member of our family. He came into our lives with two ear infections and soul full of pain and made me question my ability as a foster parent only to later steal all our hearts. At that time we had to say goodbye to him and let him be with a member of his family for long term care only to have him return six months later after having suffered horrific abuse in that home. We welcomed him back with the intention that this time we wanted him to stay. But as with all times you open your heart to someone...there is the possibility that it wont work out. Such is the case with Baby boy.

When Baby Boy came back into our lives this last Christmas we knew that the intention to adopt him came with a lot of risks. The first we considered was the effect this would have our our two children, Daniel and Selena. We also knew that Baby Boy was still in reunification with his mother and that she could very well ?get him back. ?For those of you who don't know what that is...

Concurrent Planning:
The county, when removing a child from their parents for abuse or neglect must give the parent every opportunity to clean up their act and become a fit parent in order for their child to be returned to them. In the meantime, the county is ideally pursuing two courses of action. They work to provide a safe place for the child and provide visitation between the child and his parents as the parent works any programs they need to in order to correct what ever problem they had. Parents we encounter most often are in drug treatment programs. they may also be requited to complete parenting and/or life skills classes as well as show that they have employment, safe housing, and emotional stability, before a child will be returned.

At the same time that all this is occuring the County attempts to find a family to serve as the childs potential adoptive home if the childs parents fail the family reunification process. It is their responsibility to not only provide for the child they wish to adopt..but they may also be asked to take the child to visits with their parents as a part of supporting the reunification process. The whole thing is called concurrent planning and it's meant to have a safe a stable home in place for fost/adopt kids no matter what happens with their birth parents. On the surface it seems a great plan...when all the players are doing their parts.

Because Baby Boy had been in such bad shape before, the county was ready to end moms reunification services and free Baby Boy for adoption. BUT...since it had been determined that the reason for Baby Boys dire condition was the abuse he was suffering from the family members taking long term care of him...they were extending mom's reunification services by another six months, increasing her visit times, and possibly letting her have unsupervised time with him.

This came as a blow to Jay and myself. As Baby Boys mom gets more and more time with him, we have to come to terms with the fact that one day soon he may be back with her. That is hard for me to take and every kiss, every giggle, every cute thing he does makes it harder and harder to consider giving him back. His mother had been arrested for weaving all over the road under the influence of drugs with him in the back seat with double ear infections at 3 am in the morning. she has already failed drug treatment at least one other time that I know of. The thought of giving him back comes not only with the pain of losing him...but also the fear of giving him into another situation where he could again be hurt. What if mom gets him back and then takes off with him out of county, relapses...and gets Baby Boy taken away again? Would that county even know?that we would be standing by ready to take him right back? Would they even consider us?

It was not like this with Daniel and Selena. When adoption process was being explained to us by our agency, they also let us determine the amount of risk we were willing to accept. At that time we had decided that we did not want to be considered for children still going through the reunification process with their parents. We wanted to focus on children who had already been legally freed for adoption. That choice limited to pool of kids we could be matched with substantially...but knew that we didn't want to risk that attachment only to see everything fall apart. Our social worker explained to us that it meant that it could possibly be a long wait for us but we were?OK?with that. In our minds it was better to build a family that would be permanent then to have everything torn apart by the?vagaries?of the courts. So we settled in to wait. Luckily for us..we were matched almost right away. Daniel and Selena's social worker reached out to us as a potential match for them and the process of adopting them was completed six months later. That is astoundingly fast in the adoption world and we were very lucky. Perhaps it was meant to be.

With Baby boy, everything is happening unplanned. We thought our family was complete with the four of us and though we talked about the possibility of potentially adopting again if the right situation came along, we didn't really expect it to actually happen...or this quickly. Baby boy stole our hearts and we had to give him back. When he then came back to us again it felt like it was meant to be...and so we allowed ourselves to really attach ?to him without reservation. And now his mom is succeeding with the substantial help of her tribe to the point that he may be spending prolonged periods of time with her and ?I am standing here heart in hand and realising I am learning the lesson all over again. If he goes...we have to let him go. If I love him, I need to let him go to whatever his life is meant to be. Perhaps he will come back again...hey, it's happened already hasn't it? It is hard to love someone and hold them that lightly.

The darker side of this is the part of me that hates myself for wanting his mom to screw up...those are my secret selfish thoughts and I am ashamed of having them. First because I don't want to wish someone so hooked on drugs that they can't find their way out...and second, because she is his mother and loves him in her own way too. I know the argument that if she really loved him, she would be a better mom...but I also know that if Baby Boy stayed with us, there would be another human being out their looking at the skies at night and wondering how he was doing and if was happy...just like I would be. I guess somethings in life we just can't reconcile and so we need to let it be and trust that things will happen the way that they need to.

And so here I am again...learning to hold ?my heart out to Baby Boy and let him be a part of our heart and a part of our family...with the clear knowledge that he may leave. And though that will come with a great deal of hurt...to never close the doors of my heart, to him or any other child who might need a safe place to land. No one said life...or parenting...would be easy, but I hope I am getting the lesson right this time.

Until next time dear readers....

Source: http://gayfamilyvalues.blogspot.com/2012/03/foster-diaries-risking-your-heart.html

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Saturday, March 3, 2012

The Do's & Do Not's of Simplifying Your Business Communications ...

When it comes to ensuring a smooth flow of workflows and processes in business, it is important that you maintain simple lines of communication. Simplifying your business communications should involve setting protocols for all of your employees, agreeing on ways to communicate and utilizing innovative technologies that make outside communications easier. The top initiatives that companies struggle with in achieving success is internal communication, external communication and business process efficiencies. Address these issues head on to improve communication and achieve greater success in business, allowing operations to become more efficient and productivity to rise.

Keeping communication formal
Although the rise in popularity of social media has been beneficial for businesses in terms of marketing, it is not an effective way of communicating. Business communications should always remain formal; by limiting how your employees and colleagues communicate to modes such as phone, fax and the collaborative technology of ECM, you will maintain a sense of professionalism.

Maintaining professionalism in business communications is key to keeping your productivity on the rise. Methods such as phone calls and email have remained popular in the face of innovative technologies and have done so for a reason: they are effective and will not die out. Although some have been modernized, such as fax moving to fax 2 email, they will keep their place in business communication systems even in the face of new technologies.

Putting a system in place
No matter how big or small your business is, it is easy to fall foul of becoming seriously disorganized due to a poor communication structure. It is important that colleagues, employees and outsiders alike all know how to communicate with you, as well as each other. For example, if your employees need to contact you regarding a problem in the work place, make it clear to them that they can do so via a certain method. Make sure you stick to any plan that you implement, as this prevents break downs in communications and establishes a relationship of trust.

When it comes to implementing a business communications system with outsiders, having a structured plan in place is a little more challenging as you do not have control over the modes they choose. It is for this reason that considering varying methods of communication is essential, as this will allow you to be flexible with other businesses as well as potential clients. What makes this challenging is that other businesses and clients may not be up to speed with the latest technologies, and as a result you will have to utilize what they have to hand. Take faxing for example, the vast majority of businesses have now said goodbye to this method of communication, but a significant portion of companies do still choose to use it. If you do not own a fax machine, it is still possible to make the most of this method of communication through fax 2 email. You can also capture the physical documents that are mailed or faxed into the document management system, maintaining organization and a streamline communication process.

Be as innovative as possible
Although there is a fine line between being usefully innovative and using new technologies for the sake of it, it is always worth exploring modern options to give a faster flow of business communications. Many people confuse modern approaches with complicating their communication systems, but that does not always have to be the case. Take Brighton and Sussex Medical School in the UK, they choose to use Blackberry Messenger to communicate with their students and staff. Using a method of communication that is simple and low in costs is always popular, however, it is worth considering that such methods of communication are not infallible and can be prone to rare, but devastating, network crashes.

Simplifying your business communications is something that should not be underestimated. By placing a simple infrastructure amongst your staff, colleagues and outsiders, you will find that operations run smoother and morale is boosted. Always take the time to ensure that everyone within your company remains familiar with communication protocols, and don?t be afraid to explore new options should the need arise.

Stephanie Wagner is a freelance writer and business woman who takes a keen interest in modernizing business systems. She is not associated with Aplus, but does recommend them for their approach to fax 2 email communications.

Source: http://www.idatix.com/technology-improve-simplify-your-business-communications/

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Loss of Arctic sea ice may lead to mercury deposits: NASA study

By Dan Whitcomb

LOS ANGELES | Fri Mar 2, 2012 8:59am EST

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Significant declines in perennial Arctic sea ice over the past decade may be intensifying a chemical reaction that leads to deposits of toxic mercury, a NASA-led study showed on Thursday.

The study found that thick, perennial Arctic sea ice was being replaced by a thinner and saltier ice that releases bromine into the air when it interacts with sunlight and cold, said Son Nghiem, a NASA researcher at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena.

That in turn triggers a chemical reaction called a "bromine explosion" that turns gaseous mercury in the atmosphere into a toxic pollutant that falls on snow, land and ice and can accumulate in fish, said Nghiem, lead author of the study.

"Shrinking summer sea ice has drawn much attention to exploiting Arctic resources and improving maritime trading routes," Nghiem said.

"But the change in sea ice composition also has impacts on the environment," he said. "Changing conditions in the Arctic might increase bromine explosions in the future.

Nghiem said the released bromine can also remove ozone from the lowest level of the atmosphere, the troposphere.

Though much of the attention on Arctic sea ice has focused on summer sea ice cover, the NASA-led study, which has been accepted for publication in the Journal of Geophysical Research-Atmospheres, examined perennial sea ice during winter and the transition into spring.

Nghiem said scientists were still trying to determine why the Arctic had lost an estimated one million square kilometers of perennial sea ice over the last 10 years, saying it could be due to a change in wind patterns over that time period.

In March 2008, the extent of year-round perennial sea ice set a 50-year low, shrinking by an area the size of Texas and Arizona combined, according to NASA. It has been replaced by younger, seasonal sea ice that is saltier because it has not undergone the processes that wash out its salts.

The study was conducted by a team from the United States, Canada, Germany and the United Kingdom and combined data from six NASA, European Space Agency and Canadian Space Agency satellites as well as field observations and a model.

(Reporting by Dan Whitcomb; editing by Cynthia Johnston and Todd Eastham)

Source: http://feeds.reuters.com/~r/reuters/scienceNews/~3/suF1-_-fr74/us-arctic-ice-mercury-idUSTRE82101M20120302

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Friday, March 2, 2012

Apartment Lease - Legal Help

This is a discussion on Apartment Lease within the Real Estate and Property Law Questions forums, part of the Legal Questions & Answers Forum category; Here is my situation....My roomate and I signed a lease for an apartment August 2010 for one year. August 2011 comes around and we wanted to renew the lease for ...

Here is my situation....My roomate and I signed a lease for an apartment August 2010 for one year. August 2011 comes around and we wanted to renew the lease for another year. My landlord never got around to giving us the papers to sign and after constant reminders we just gave up. We still pay the same rent as usual and there is no problem. My roomate and I are currently not in a good place, and I do not wish to live with her anymore, however we both refust to move out. My question is can I make arrangements with my landlord to sign a lease with my name only starting May 1st so that I can legally control who lives at the apartment.
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If you did not sign another year lease, you are likely on a month to month lease now. You can make that arrangement, with the landlords approval, however, your roommate must either leave voluntarily after being served notice or evicted via process. I don't think the landlord will be willing to pay for any resistance.

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Source: http://legalhelp.org/real-estate-property-law-questions/1767-apartment-lease.html

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Best answers:

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Ben Greenfield: Why Crunches Don't Work -- Plus 10 Ways to Flat Abs

Imagine your spine is a credit card. In the same way that repeatedly flexing and extending a credit card will eventually lead to wearing out of the plastic, repeatedly doing crunches can put damaging strain on your back.

Here's why:

Each of your spinal discs is only able to support a limited number of bending motions over the course of your lifetime before you get low back pain, a disc bulge or a disc herniation.

And since crunches involve lying on your back and repeatedly bending and extending your spinal credit card, they place excessive strain on the part of your low back that has the most nerves and is most prone to wear and tear.

Perhaps you've heard that if you pick a heavy object off the ground, and you don't want to hurt your spine, you should "Bend at the knees, and not at the back." But think about crunches this way: Anytime you do a crunch, you're bending at the back -- over and over and over again!

And that's not all: A crunch simply doesn't burn as many calories as necessary for you to get rid of any fat that is obscuring your stomach muscles -- so it's an inefficient way to get your gut looking good.

Ultimately, there are better ways to get a flat stomach. Here are my top 10 crunch alternatives that will avoid back pain and burn many more calories than crunches. For each exercise, choose a weight that allows you to do 10-15 repetitions and click on the exercise name for a demonstration.

Crunch Alternative #10 -- Cable Torso Twists
In a standing position with your feet firmly planted and knees slightly bent, hold a cable or elastic band at arm's length (keep your arms straight) and twist your body. To do this exercise properly, imagine your bellybutton pointing straight forward, then rotate your bellybutton approximately 30 degrees.

Crunch Alternative #9 -- Woodchopper
In a standing position, hold a dumbbell, medicine ball, elastic band or cable above your body and to the side of your shoulder, and diagonally rotate with extended arms from above your shoulder, down and across your body to the outside of your hips -- just as if you were holding an axe and chopping a block of wood. Also, try "reverse woodchoppers," which is the same motion in the opposite direction.

Crunch Alternative #8 - Front Planks
Get into a belly-down position with your elbows bent and your body supported by just your forearms and your toes. This is a popular position that you'll see in yoga and Pilates. From here, you can simply hold this plank position, or you can tap your feet or alternate between reaching with each arm.

Crunch Alternative #7 -- Side Planks
Get into a similar position as a front plank but support yourself on one arm, so that your bellybutton is turned to the side. You can simply hold this position, or you can also do more advanced exercises like raising a dumbbell with your non-supporting arm or rotations.

Crunch Alternative #6 -- Stability Ball Plank
If your forearms don't like the front plank position, the stability ball plank is a great option. Simply put your shins or toes up on a stability ball and support the rest of your body in a pushup position with your hands.

Crunch Alternative #5 -- Stability Ball Knee to Chest
After you've mastered the stability ball plank position, try pulling the ball closer to you by bending your knees to your chest, then extending your legs back into the starting position.

Crunch Alternative #4 -- Stability Ball Pike
For an even harder stability ball move, try pikes, in which you start in a stability ball plank position and then point your butt up towards the sky in a capital letter A position while keeping your legs as straight as possible.

Crunch Alternative #3 -- Bridges
As I wrote in "How to Get a Flat Stomach," when you exercise your abs, you also need to maintain your low back strength. You can do a low back strengthening bridge by lying on your back, then pushing your hips up towards the sky while keeping your feet flat on the ground. For more advanced variations, try a single leg bridge or a stability ball bridge.

Crunch Alternative #2 -- Medicine Ball Side Throws
These last two exercises are a bit more ballistic and athletic, but great for building abdominal strength. Grab a medicine ball, which is one of those small but very heavy balls you can find at the gym, and then find an area of the gym where you have a solid wall. Twist your body to one side and then twist back and throw the ball against the wall. Catch, then repeat. Once you've completed a series of throws for one side, face the other direction and complete another set of throws for the opposite side. These are very similar to cable torso twists, except you're throwing an object.

Crunch Alternative #1 -- Medicine Ball Slams
I've saved the best exercise for last. Hold the medicine ball overhead, then slam it into the ground as hard as you can, while keeping your abs tight and breathing out. This exercise is also a fantastic stress-reliever.

Now that you know 10 ways to avoid crunches, you'll never have to strain your credit card again -- and that's good advice for the one in your wallet, too.

Ben Greenfield is a fitness and triathlon expert and host of the Get-Fit Guy podcast on the Quick and Dirty Tips network. His book, "Get-Fit Guy's Guide to Achieving Your Ideal Body -- A Workout Plan for Your Unique Shape," will be published by St. Martin's Press in May 2012.

For more by Ben Greenfield, click here.

For more on fitness and exercise, click here.

Follow Ben Greenfield on Twitter: www.twitter.com/GetFitGuy

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ben-greenfield/ab-workout_b_1307185.html

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